We all dream of a fairy tale; girl meets boy; they fall in love and live happily ever after. However, in many relationships, this is not always the case; the love is there (or supposedly assumed to be there), but everything else screams run. While you want to be with the one you love, the one your heart yearns for, the one who keeps you awake at night, the one that gives you goosebumps; sometimes, that one person could be the reason your life is a mess. Thus, an ideal relationship is not all about love, or a fairy tale, or the warm feeling that you get when you think of him, but a combination of chemistry and compatibility.
What is compatibility?
To be compatible means you think alike; you share common values and common life goals and have the same perception about success, money, religion, power, politics, education, career, and intelligence. Ever wondered why artists marry fellow artists, and politician’s fellow politicians? The answer is compatibility. Compatibility enhances cohesiveness in a relationship. It means you will work together, support each other, invest in each other, and push through the tough moments together.
Chemistry, on the other hand, is the intimate connection between two people. The sexual tension, the emotional connection, the warm feelings, and excitement that you get when you are with your partner. Chemistry fuels intimacy in a relationship. It makes you miss someone, long to see them, want to hold them, and be close to someone. Without chemistry, a relationship can be boring, monotonous, and lack intimacy.
So which is better, chemistry or compatibility?
A thriving relationship must combine both chemistry and compatibility. While chemistry is critical, two people who are not compatible cannot sustain a thriving relationship. A religious woman and a drug dealer cannot sustain a thriving relationship. While they might have some chemistry, the difference in religious and ideological beliefs can sabotage the relationship. Science dictates that opposites attract meaning people from two different worlds can share intense chemistry. However, even with such intense chemistry, sustaining a thriving relationship can be a challenge.
Compatibility thrives in familiarity, similarity, and sharing life in similar circumstances. For instance, an Indian man marrying an Indian woman is highly compatible since they share similar interests, social perceptions, and religious backgrounds. The same case applies to a relationship where both partners are Muslims. Compatible couples tend to be logical, rational, and objective in their relationship, mainly when dealing with disputes. For instance, if both couples come from a social setting where the man is regarded as the head of the family, then the man will naturally take the lead and the woman to follow in case of disputes. However, if the couple lacks chemistry, the relationship will not be a fulfilling one. Though some couples survive a marriage without chemistry, it should not be the goal of any couple.
A combination of chemistry and compatibility makes a perfect recipe for a long-term, mutually satisfying, and prosperous relationship. Compatibility and chemistry mean you can run a business together as partners and take a stroll on the beach like teenagers. It means that you have a friend, a brother, a business partner, and an intimate life-partner in one person. As a man, having a woman with these combinations is ideal, since she can spice your sex life, support your business ideas, mentor your career, and stand with you in difficult times.